


its 2 am help

by saucymajima



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Fix-It, Golf, Lizards, M/M, Maids, No Tentacle Sex, Other, Tentacles, beef - Freeform, nobody expects the spanish destiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:07:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27723235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saucymajima/pseuds/saucymajima
Summary: fear
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	its 2 am help

**Author's Note:**

> oh no, why are you here, this is your choice not mine, ive never even watched supernatural

One day dean worcestershire was in his car driving along a lovely country road listening to his favorite song, all i want for christmas is you by mariah carey, window down, wind blowing in his hair, he recalled a time him and his brother were eating the entire 18x19 script covered in ranch at the local diner and the waitress asked what else she could get for “you two lovebirds” dean thought this was strange, but kind of hot.

As he continued on his lovely drive through  **unnamed country road aesthetic** , he saw another car approach from the horizon, it was his best friend castiel! Dean jumped with excitement except he did not, for he was in a car, castiel was driving his favorite hearse from the 2016 hit movie ghostbusters featuring bill murray, a movie castiel very much enjoyed. “Hello kinnie” said castiel, his voice melting deans left femur in bliss. “Hello my platonic man friend of whom i have no homosexual feelings for” said dean “kachow” said dean's car.

“It would appear we have arrived at a warehouse where we will find many fun capers and hijinks to explore” said castiel, practicing his newly acquired breakdancing skills, for he was a middle aged man. Dead clapped excitedly as he gave castiel $9.99 for his performance. Tucking the money into his minion socks, Castiel walked inside, with Dean following him soon after. After 23 minutes of aforementioned off screen hijinks ( including but not limited to:mini golf, demon maid cafe, medium golf, an lizard amusement park, a 6 minute musical number, large golf, an elaborate fight scene with a lama, dinner with george washington, giga golf and a reference to riverdale) the two found a closet full of flags with little skull patterns on them “what are these, death flags?” castiel laughed.

Then suddenly, the demon maid kicked in a door. **”COME ON!”** Dean said, possessed by the spirit of captain falcon, a common occurrence in the life of dean. The two ran away at incredibly high speeds turning through the halls of the building, sometimes coming out of multiple doors at once, coming out behind the demon and giving it a little tap on the shoulder, Castiel ate a comically large sandwich, y'know the usual. After an hour of comedic japes they had been backed into a corner, with the maid approaching. “Well this isn't very poggers” said dean “not an epic gamer moment ;;w;; ” said castiel, removing his minion socks and putting them in his collectable lorax cup. 

“How did you say that outloud” a distraught dean exclaimed, “just gamer things” replied the angle. "Well, we're gonna die here, un epic" said Dean holding back many slurs. “Not so fast” said the sockless castiel “ right, why are your toes out? Is this a kink thing because i cant say it isnt working” “well you see, it cant be gay with socks on” dean was stunned “bro no homo!” he said in shock “bro no, homo” replied his now shirtless friend “i don't understand what you mean bro,,” dean said, stuttering his words “ti amo” said the angel “cas i don't speak spanish!” said dean in a panic. But it was too late for him to start his duolingo course as castiel and the maid were both vored by venom from the hit 2018 film venom “aw man i hate eminem!” yelled the still confused dean.

He made his way outside, “fuck i cant beleive youve done this” said the now possibly gay hunter. “Oh well, at least you'll never leave me carstiel ”i thought you'd never ask” replied the car, dripping wet from the sweat, and the rain dean left it in. the two lovers engaged in passionate love making for hours, getting carstiel's windshields steamy dean proceeded to ride his gear stick until morning. When the sun broke, Dean redressed himself, giving his automobile lover a kiss on the wheel, before driving off into the sunrise, united at last. The hunter and his loyal friend went to get their tetanus shots and lived a joyful and fruitful life in retirement. 


End file.
